Reconcilliation

Anonymous asks:

"My boyfriend's 16 yr. old daughter and I had a falling out. I have called her some nasty names in the past. Not to her face but she over heard me. Do you have a poem telling her Im sorry and I do care about her?"

Dear Anonymous,

It sounds like you've had to learn a hard lesson about finding constructive ways to express your anger and frustration. Not fun. While the two of you aren't enemies, by any means, there seem to be some ongoing disagreements. I would suggest before you talk to her or give her a note, that you spend time praying for her, or (more secularly) sending good wishes to her in your heart. It's helpful for seeing things from the other person's point of view, and a good way to be sure that disagreements are resolved in a way that is good for everyone involved. As Jesus said:

"Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you."

Having said all that, I think it's great that you're ready to apologize, and I hope you'll be able to say things well and in a way that she can understand and appreciate and that will help you both be more kind and loving to each other. Here are a couple of suggestions that might go well with a note you write to her:

Jude 1:2
May mercy, peace, and love be yours in abundance.

Luke 1:78-79 is part of the story of Jesus' birth, and reminds us of the hope God gives:

By the tender mercy of our God, the dawn from on high will break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.

Here's a poem from Oldpoetry.com that I think is very honest and expressive. It might be more geared toward a love relationship, but there are still good thoughts there. It's from the Lakotah tradition. I've copied over the first verse, but the entire poem is at this site.

There are time when my tongue should not move
and words should not come from within
they should remain behind the shadow of doubt
like an oceans waves they are capricious...

I hope these are helpful, and that you will be able to start your relationship with each other in a new and better place. But be sure that you give your boyfriend's daughter time and space to think through and decide for herself about whether she's ready to forgive. It's a hard place to be in, but forgiveness can't be forced.

Blessings,

Amy