Anonymous writes:
"My husband had an affair. When I found out, he decided he wanted to stay together. This happened 3 years ago. I have found in the Bible about if we had gotten a divorce then remarried and had intercourse, that I would be guilty of adultery. BUT...what about if we have intercourse after he has had an affair, but we are still married. Have I committed adultery?"
Dear Anonymous,
To answer your question: no. You have not committed adultery by being with your husband after his affair.
Sometimes when something terrible happens to us, it's hard not to feel guilty--to feel like we are to blame. But while I don't know the particulars of your situation, I do know that your husband was, ultimately, the only one who could decide to be faithful or unfaithful to you. But it sounds like, too, that he was the only one allowed to decide whether the two of you would stay together. You have a choice in the matter--this is your marriage, too.
I hope that you'll take the time to face this issue more directly, ideally with the help of a friend, a pastor, or a counselor you can trust to give you good advice. God did NOT set up the world to try and catch us at being bad--God has created us to enjoy life, to love each other, and to love God. Your trust in your husband has been compromised--he has hurt you. But that doesn't mean God has stopped loving you, or that you can't make strong choices for your own well-being. My prayer for you is that you will find God's love ever more real to you as you work through your healing process.
Blessings,
Amy
